Today, I proved how stupid I can be at times…

I convinced myself and my roommate to go do the Polar Plunge in Muskego, WI. It benefited Special Olympics of Wisconsin. The turnout was pretty impressive. We ended up getting caught up with a group from Matty’s Bar & Grill. They ended up raising over $10,000 for the event, which is pretty impressive. Heh, we even got to be part of the video that they were making for the bar…

So who knows… I might just do this again, next year. Also, if you’re looking for a good reuben sandwich around Muskego, go to Matty’s. It’s a fun bar and has good food… not to mention hot girls 😉

Update: Pictures available here and here.

One down… one to go.  I just got verification that mkeonline.com accepted me as a threeview.  A threeview is one of three panelists that critic a specific restaurant’s food.  The fourth person who goes to the restaurant is a writer for the magazine.  Having dinner with three random unknown people should be fun

Now I just need to be accpeted as a model for the magazine and everything would be peachy… 🙂

I decided to sign up for a couple things tonight. I went to a local website and played around with their site. I stumbled across the option to model for the magazine and figured… what the hell… I could do that. So, I sent an application to do so. We’ll see how it goes…

After signing up to be a model, I decided that I should also sign up to be a panelist for the dining section. So after another email, the waiting game begins. I’ve been talking with someone who has done the panelist position before. She said that it’s a pretty cool situation… plus the free food is always nice. Time will tell if I have what it takes, though.

I was reading my aggregated feeds the other day, when what do I come across?  A post by Paul Murphy that quoted one of my posts… I have to admit that it was a little weird coming across something like that.  Generally, I have always gone into this blogging thing as though no one reads my ramblings… Apparently there are some listeners, though.  I honestly have no clue who reads this, and I think I’m better off not knowing. 

Anyway, so it was pretty cool to read Paul’s take on what I had written.  I think he meant to call me a closet owner, rather than a closest owner, but maybe I’m mistaken.  How he summed up what I was trying to say, was pretty close to what I’ve been thinking.  I’ve always felt in one way or another that I’m not really cut out for the regimented daily routine.  I’m not saying that I can’t work for 12+ hours a day (length of time doesn’t really matter), but I wouldn’t be doing that on an assembly line.  I can definitely see pouring my heart and soul into something that I truly believe in.  At the same time, each day that passes is another that I’m not completely owning my environment.

I have sort of been lying low with the idea of becoming self dependent, with the hopes that I will come up with an idea that I know will work.  As I read more, though, it seems as though there are different ways to go about that.  Rather than trying to come up with a specific nitch or product, I like Paul’s recommendation with coming up with a direction.  I’m not a big fan of using the term goal – I think that they limit you to some degree. 

I do like the points Paul brought up relating to owners mentality:

• Owners’ mentality says, "I can get someone else to do it for me."
• Owners’ mentality says, "I can find a better way."
• Owners’ mentality says, "I’m right even when I’m wrong, because I KNOW so. (flat-earthers were ‘right’ in their day)"
• Owners’ mentality says, "I can do whatever I put my mind to because I can."
• Owners’ mentality says, "I can. I can. I can. I can."
• Owners’ mentality says, "It’s my fault when things go wrong, even when someone else did it for me."
• Owners’ mentality says, "No matter what, I will not fail. When I don’t succeed, I will try again."
• Owners’ mentality says, "Teamwork is a bunch of people doing what I say."

So, I’m going to spend some time and find out how I can change the world.  I do think there are things that need to be changed, and apparently it is possible for one person to make a difference.

I want to thank Paul for offering any mentoring about this subject.  I’m sure I’ll take advantage of that as the need arises, or if I find myself in a slump.

As a side note, I think that it’s pretty cool to be communicating across blogs like this.  It’s sort of like loosely coupled forum topics/posts 🙂

Btw, feel free to call my Jim, James, or any derivative of the name 🙂  I usually go by Jim, but sometimes it’s different for certain situations/people…

I talked with a friend tonight… She was once my best friend, someone I confided in, and will always be with me in one way or another. Anyway, I had been thinking about us for a while and I wanted to get some things off of my mind. I had the conversation swirling through my mind for a couple weeks because we just couldn’t find the time to be together to talk. Anyway, I just told her that there didn’t need to be dinner or drinks or any particular reason, to get together, other than getting this off of my chest.

It’s weird… when I originally was putting together thoughts about what I wanted to tell her, I had strong emotions for wanting to get back together with her. But strangely, with each passing day that it just didn’t work out for us to meet, those feelings changed slightly. I met some other people throughout that time, and I have to admit that one made me feel as good [mentally] as Jeana once did. I had a blast talking to her and things just went well. It’s easy to feel good with someone physically, but to be mentally attracted to someone is the difficult thing.

So anyway, the main focus of my conversation w/ Jeana had to do with a realization that I had about our split-up. I just basically realized that I wasn’t ready for the "next-level" that our relationship was headed towards. So I got scared (subconsciously?) and backed away… well, the pieces fell where they did and we’re both where we are today because of that… I also told her that I don’t feel comfortable seeing her with another person, yet, so I don’t know what will happen in the future – as far as hanging out, etc…

Long story short, it felt good to get that out of the way. We ended up talking for a while… just about random things. I’m undecided if I would want to start a relationship with her again. I know we can click really well, together, but there is a thought (in both of us) that maybe we’re just not right for each other.

It’ll be an interesting road from here on out, but it’s one that I’m ready for…. Or so I tell myself 🙂

I’m not really sure what pre-empted it, but this past Sunday evening, I became very depressed/curious about life in general. I was pretty hung over that day, so that might have had some sort of effect on it. Did the alcohol from the night before just kick in as a depressant that day? Probably, but I don’t know/care now…

What I do know is that I analyzed the purpose, or lack there of, of why I’m here. I still can’t find a reason, but maybe it will come about before I die… I’ve had a similar conversation with people before, and it’s also possible that I have already fulfilled my purpose, and I just don’t know it. For example, maybe it’s my purpose to write this crap down so that someone in virtual land can come across it and use it to spark a revolution. That’s for another ramble, though…

I just started thinking about what we, as humans, do while we’re alive. I really don’t think that we’re much more than slaves. I know that I’ve heard it before, but I never thought about it in this way. I always just thought that Jim told people that they were slaves because the general public seems to lack innovation/creativity and generally gets lumped together, mentally, like sheep. Think about it [if you can ;)], the majority of people are happy talking about the weather, happy in their 9-5 jobs, and generally happy going through the same routine till retirement or they die. I think the terror alert system just proves this point. How easy people’s emotions/thoughts can be swayed by a meaningless scale brought on by the controlling force. Sunday, however, I thought about it differently. Look at what we do throughout our lives… we are born, go to school, work, and for some, procreate to keep the cycle going on. How many people truly see the fruits of their labor? I am beginning to think that what I think of as the ancient lifestyles (Indian, Egyptian, etc) was healthier for people’s souls.

It sort of left me wondering what I should do… How can I make this time, that I may or may not ever see again, worth it? I feel sort of weird, though… not having proof of anything before or after life, is sort of weird. It makes me wonder why the hell I’m stuck in the middle of life.

I have realized that I desire that which I cannot have. It’s unfortunate, but I think that goes to the heart of human nature. The next step is to use my head to accept that I cannot have everything that I want, but I will also use it to try to get attain certain things out of reach.

So I guess when it comes down to it, I am going to try to learn as much while I’m here. I’m definitely going to take more things less seriously. And in general, I’m going to try to maintain an Epicurean philosophy and just try to enjoy each day as it comes… for tomorrow will be my last… With my ultimate goal of when I look back upon my days, I will try to not regret anything.

This weekend, I installed a garage door opener.  I picked up the cheapest ($130) one I could find at Sears and figured it would be a snap to put in.  It wasn’t hard, but it took longer than expected.  Since there was no prior opener, I had to build a structure, coming from the middle of the garage ceiling, to support the opener.  Now, if I had installed an opener previously, I would have probably built the structure using pieces of angled metal.  Instead, I chose to build mine using 2x4s.  It ended up being very sturdy…. Even to the point of me feeling comfortable hanging from it. 

Other than that, I had to put in an electrical outlet near the opener.  A good friend of mine let me use a couple tools, so that I could accomplish all of this.  Without those, I would probably still be opening the door by hand… anyway, if I get a chance, I’ll post a couple pictures of the wooden structure that I built.  I’m proud of it 🙂

Update: Due to demands, I have posted some pictures, available in the photo gallery.